Join us on a heartfelt journey as Bob delves into his adoption story, searching for the roots, family, and a sense of belonging that has eluded him for so long. In this episode of ‘Beyond Bloodlines,’ we explore the powerful quest for identity and connection that transcends the ties of blood.
Yesterday was three weeks since the DNA test was sent in to
Ancestry. My friend Regina and I have both been checking for results
about 30 times a day. I know the time given is 4-6 weeks, however some people have
been known to get results earlier. I just keep the Ancestry app open on my phone, next to me.
This is my week at school, and I’m in the classroom all day
long hearing lectures and engaging in class discussion. Yesterday our professor did a
magic trick with a quarter, as an illustration. His execution of this trick was stellar, and every student in our class was struggling with moving on to
the next topic without him telling us how he ‘magically’ moved the quarter from
one place to another. He dismissed our questions and went on to lecture about something else and someone
would raise their hand and ask about the quarter. This went on for a few hours.
We just wouldn’t let it go. The whole point of his illustration was that the curiosity would drive us crazy and we would keep asking about how he did it. And
it worked!
Once he had proved his point he said, “Curiosity is a sign of
intelligence. Wanting to know is a sign of intelligence.”
I instantly thought, “Hmmm…I must be pretty smart!!” (Bahahahaha!!)
Once he told us the point of this whole thing, which was staying curious and going after what we have a drive to find out, all I could think about is the fact that I believe it’s literal
mental torture (no, I am not exaggerating, I really do believe it is mental
torture) to not know who one or both of your biological parents are.
My professor sharing about curiosity and the drive to know validated something in
me where I was comforted that I’m not crazy. Although it’s threatened to drive me off a cliff at times, I’m normal. There is nothing wrong with me. It’s perfectly okay that I don’t want to let this go, that I
can’t just let this go.
Just like our class needed to know where that darn quarter
was, I need to know who my father is.
In this episode, we continue our conversation with Karen, Wendy, Cindy and Dawn together and hear more from the group about secrecy and its long-lasting impact.
Last week I received a Facebook friend request from a lady
named Linda. I was so excited. She is Kenny’s wife! (If you have no idea who Kenny is, you need to read my last post.) Kenny is not connected on social media, but Linda is. And she’s just the sweetest. Here is part of her first communication to me
on a Facebook message:
Hey Deanna! It’s wonderful to hear from you. Kenny and I feel
like you’ve become family. Kenny has
been checking with people in the family and people that might have graduated
with your Momma. We haven’t heard anything that would help you yet. But as you know, God is great every day! I am
praying for you that God will lead you to some answers and peace of mind in
knowing about your Daddy and other family. That would be a blessing for you. I
hope Kenny and I can meet you one day. I hope you and your family have a very
blessed Christmas.
This is the first of many messages with Linda and I am beyond
grateful for this couple. For all the frustration I have in dealing with a few idiots people with my search, I am reminded through people like Kenny and Linda that there are
people who are willing to help a person who was once a stranger. There are people
with heart, who do the extra mile without being asked. (I initially asked Kenny
to help but now he and Linda do a lot of searching and talking to people without
me even having to ask. They really care.)
It was a joy to mail Kenny and Linda a Christmas present yesterday and thank them for their kindness.
I realized a few days ago that it seems like the Christmas season is always the worst time I struggle with the issue of not knowing my natural father. Every holiday season my friend Gayle and I talk about it more than any other time. I drill down in working on the search during the month of December more than any other time even though it’s a crazy busy month! I was ruminating on that this past week and tried to figure out what it is about Christmas that compels me to do this.
I suddenly realized, it has nothing to do with Christmas.
It’s the fact that another year is almost over, and I don’t know who he is yet. And if he’s not dead, time is running out.
